House and Home... Family and Friends... JDRF

House & Home...

I'm sitting here while they lay carpet in my a good bit of my house. I've spent the last week painting, pulling up the old carpet, prepping the floors and trying to keep things somewhat tidy. I've not been this tired in a long time. At first it was cleaning... getting all the furniture out of the rooms. Then it was prime spots that needed a bit more care. I've climbed up and down the ladder way too many times, but it had to be done. It was maybe more work than I realized it was going to be. Once I got started I just kept going - I can rest later.

I didn't do anything drastic. We have creamy walls that most people would think are booooring these days, but I'm a neutral wall color with soft accent kind of person. We don't have big rooms anyway and dark colors can make them seem smaller if done wrong. I don't care what they say on HGTV the popular dark colored walls make rooms look smaller when you stuff them full of furniture. Besides with the number of people living here, all their stuff, we get crowded easy. The living room though... I'm hoping to paint with a color. I just didn't have the time/money to get it done before the carpet. I think I'll be able to do it next month, I'll just get some of that carpet protecting stick-down drop cloth to prevent any lasting ooopses.

If I had 10k I'd have gone wood floors... :) Nice carpet will do me just fine though. It's a pretty fluffy carpet that I'll feel tons better about Zachy crawling around on. We had put a big rug over the living room floor so he had something soft and clean to crawl on for a while now. The rug will likely end up in the dining area now.

The older kids have been living a bit like vagabonds with their dressers in the garage. Every morning the trek out there to get clothes and such... hanging stuff got to stay in their closets though. (okay I painted the rooms not the closets... can't I do that later?). I still have a built in drawer project to do in the funny alcove that they put in the kids rooms. It may be a bit before I get that done. I've always got more to do... and when I run out of inside projects... there's always the poor neglected yard.

It's a long time coming. I really started this project a year ago, while working on Zach's nursery. Money was tight though and when we made the decision for Matthew to stay home with the little guy for a year - our remodel projects got put on hold. I was more important that our little one be well cared for, snug at home with the best Dad in the world. (I jokingly call him a lousey housewife... cause pushing dust around, washing laundry and dishes are not his thing. On the other hand he is an AWESOME Dad - I think that's a good trade :) Matthew goes back to work in less than a month now and the little guy will attend a church daycare where he'll be able to socialize and grow even more.

Family & Friends...

Matthew's Grandparents are in town for a visit... and for the JDRF Walk tomorrow. It's their first time to see the little man and we've not seen them since our wedding. He has the most amazing grandparents too. They are warm wonderful people who don't care that the house is in the midst of remodel they just want to see their grandson and great-grandson.

Yesterday they got a rare chance to take not only Matthew and Zachary out for the day... but Matthew's sister April was able to join them. I was working most of the day - but it has been years and years since Grandpa and Grandma had a day with just their grand kids. They've only have the two, April and Matthew... and now Zachary. So it was good all around.

They went to the outdoor mall that was built a few years ago and there's a carousel in the food pavilion.

I was able to join them for lunch a got some pictures.

Daddy... what are we doing?

Zachary, Matthew, & April

Tonight will be dinner and an early birthday party for Zachary. He's a month out from a full year, but they'll only be here this week. Matthew's mom balked at first, but it's not about gifts or anything... it's a cake and one little boy making what will probably the most delightful mess. Once in a lifetime moments you just don't pass up.

Tomorrow we will go to the walk and while the weather may not fully cooperate, the walk takes place rain or shine. In the 17+ years that Matthew has been a type1 diabetic, he's never had a family team for the walk. After last year, I promised myself we'd change that. I could not imagine though that we would have four generations walking for him this year. I'm ever so grateful. We raised a decent amount too. If there is ever to be a cure, I believe JDRF will be on the forefront of finding it. They are the only 'organization' that I know of that manages to put 85% of every dollar raised directly into research. The other 15% is used to operate local chapters that offer support and education.

This post is longer than I planned but who wants to stick to plan... when there's so much life out there?

Busy few days

Last Thursday was my Capstone presentation for JBU. I'm technically officially done with college. Only took me 20 years... three schools and a whole lot of work. I don't walk until December though, so I'm done, but not done.

My oldest sister came back to Arkansas for a visit over the weekend and I got to see my niece and nephew. They are really great kids. (almost grownup kids, wow) I love it when they visit and it's always sad when they leave.

My dad is being sent to Little Rock for tests and possibly surgery. Seems like once we rule out two cancers we are now dealing with something called Barrett's esophagus and displaysia ( so we have a third cancer risk now) May be simple laser treatment, maybe more in-depth, who knows. So I pray that the unknown is manageable either way.

Had Baby Z's 9 month check up Monday. He's 22.5 pounds of bounding energy and 28 inches tall! He cut his first two teeth finally on Thursday too. I would declare him an official nibbler too. He seems fascinated by the new pearly whites.

I'm contemplating a job change. Don't know if I'll even get an interview, but I put my name in for it anyway. It would be project management rather than technical like I do now. The bonus would be getting working with a group that I used to work with and having a mac again. I'm hopeful anyway. Girl can dream, can't she?

Life is otherwise busy with fund-raising for the NWA JDRF walk in September. I'd love to raise a $1000 but I set my goal at 250 because I just don't know if I can get more. I'm working on the Corporate team as well as our family team so maybe it balances out. Wal-Mart has sponsored the walk for years, but we've not had a corporate wide team.

And that's my busy life... full, blessed, dramatic, simple, beautiful, and a gift.

Mother's Day

It's Mother's Day...

I always feel a bit odd since my own Mother is gone but I have all my wonderful little and not so little people.
Here are two of them... Em is a petite girl who will be thirteen at the end of this month... and baby Z is a week shy of 7 months. I love how the perspective makes Z look as big as his big sister.

I'm supposed to be working on a bunch of homework... my older sister is in the midst of an unexpected move that will leave her living with my dad... and that led to a flurry of phone calls all evening. I still need to call my eldest sister and see how life is treating her. There's dishes and laundry waiting for me... but here I am playing with photos.

We've taking baby pic's with Z's big monkey since he was a month or so old. An idea I'd never heard of when the other munchkins were little - guess I'm slow or something.. but anyway here's May's version.
Guess I'll head back to the things I'm supposed to be doing... at least until baby Z's night feeding. He's still not sleeping through the night or anything. (pst... secret - as much as I'd like a single night's sleep from dusk to dawn... I love the time I get with him since I miss the hours I spend at work when he is home with his Daddy. He can give up the really early feeding between 5 and 6 though - any time now).

EDIT here for clarification since BabyZ's dad just laughed at me; the little man gets up two or three times every night. I'm a night person so I don't mind anything before say 4 am. Early 'morning' though I'd rather be sleeping myself. I absolutely think 5 am is sleeping time.

New munchkin photo!

Zachary's 1st Halloween

Two weeks

Time passes all too quickly anymore. This day, the last two weeks... seem to be gone in the blink of an eye... before I know it, my maternity leave will be over and I'll have to go back to work. I love my job, need my income, but lord I wish I could stay home for a while with my son. Six months... a year... but alas, there's bills to pay and I'm the payer.

Now about the son... Zachary went in to see his pedi yesterday. He's gained some weight and she said he looks great. He was good for and didn't cry too much. There was a bit when we took all his clothes away for the weight measurement and again when Dr. J checked his hips.

I saw my Doctor also... I've lost a tiny bit of weight and the doc asked me how I'm doing. (my answer is not too bad... little sleep deprived, still got some twinges of pain, - you know, standard for two weeks post c/s with a healthy newborn).

Honestly though... I'm more than tired and there's occasionally more than a twinge of pain. It just sounds whiny to say and I'd likely get the "well you just had major surgery" talk, so what's the point. I still want a new doctor. He's done nothing to redeem himself I'm sorry to say.

I don't know that I'd miss the sleep at night so much if I could nap during the day with the little guy. Not possible right now, but maybe next week? We'll work on a schedule then too.

I'm holding my own with the laundry and the dishes, and while the house has a definite 'lived in' look, it's not terrible. I would love to mop the floors, but hey... that's just me.

The little man calls...

One week....

It's been a week now since the little guy made his debut. This photo is from his second day... and it's taken me this long to post it. (new babies have a way about making time pass in the blink of an eye.)

He's still not on a distinguishable sleeping or eating schedule. It's a bit tricky when planning a doctor's visit or any outing at all. It's not like you can make a nursing baby eat before they leave the house. It's not like I can produce milk on any schedule he doesn't set. This makes it interesting when one day he wants to eat every two hours and the next day he wants to eat every 3 to 3 1/2 hours. Ahhhhh fun times...

All in all though he is such a good baby. He's a bit more alert than I'd expect a newborn to be though. So... I'm drinking decaf and wondering what else I can avoid to help him sleep. Mind you, even when he is awake for hours he's happy.

He's been to see his pediatrician once so far and will return on Thursday for a weight check. He's not showing any signs of jaundice, got a good review and we are in agreement for his shot schedule at this point.

He's Here!!!!

Safe and sound, Zachary is here. Ten fingers, ten toes, good bit of hair, beautiful little guy. Of course I'm biased so I offer a photo to convince you.

October 17, 2008 at 8:03 a.m.

7 lbs 10 oz, 20 in long

October 17th

The midnight hour has arrived. I'm not even allowed water now until after Zachary is born... In just 5 hours I need to leave for the hospital...

This is a big day.

I'm supposed to be excited. Somehow the idea of surgery isn't that exciting. I will be incapacitated and have half a dozen people wandering obliviously around me when I'm not even able to sit up, nope can't say that I'm thrilled at the prospect.

Meeting Zachary is wonderful to think about. The rest of it... not so much.

I'm hoping that the level of drama is not what I fear it will be.

Please let this be a good day. Let me have some time with my son before it's gets hectic and the world's expectations come crashing through.

Maybe I'll get to update this later today with good news.

Here's hoping.

Running out of time...

We are 12 days out... so just 11 days left to get more than that time is going to allow.

Today - I hope to get the last mowing of the year in, I might still wish I'd gotten the weed eating done, but I'm not putting it on the agenda for today.... it's just not possible.

I've not finished painting... and I've still got trim to install, more flooring to cut... and some furniture to assemble. We did get a whole lot done with the garage yesterday and I'm caught up on the laundry until tomorrow. We took a few hours this morning just to be us... I might be driven by insane hormones and mental weakness... but the dearest Husband needs some down time if he's going to completely get over bronchitis and he's still working every day so his weekends are precious.

The schedule ahead:

Monday (6th)through Wednesday(8th) it's work on homework, keep up the day to day and taxi service since our oldest's car is no more. Matthew's got a doctor's appointment Thursday (9th), I've got class that night, followed by my doctor's appointment on Friday (10th)... The ADA Tour de Cure is Saturday(11th), My dad will be here Sunday(12th).

We need to bring Zach's crib and swing home too. (Some things from the shower are still at Matthew's parents house). I should go ahead and get the mattress for the bigger crib while I'm at it. Maybe I'll order it online so it just gets delivered to the door and save myself the time and trouble.

The following week, I've got my 8 page ethics paper to write between Monday (13th) and Wednesday (15th) and prepare to present Thursday (16th)...

Baby to be here on Friday the 17th...

It's crazy and I know I'm not going to get it 'all' done... but I've got to give it my best shot.

Zach can derail the train anytime anyway.

If you see Matthew wandering the world with Einstein hair you know I've pushed him over the edge... feed him some coffee and keep him safe eh?

Thank goodness... this week is almost over.

It's been a l-o-n-g week. I'm tired. Not as tired as I was last night after class... but for just getting up two hours ago, I'm ready for everyone to leave for school and work. Sam ( my orange cat) and I can cuddle up here and do a whole lot of not much.

Yesterday's doctor visit with the nurse practitioner went okay, but I'm still disappointed with my doctor's office as a whole. After the little guy gets here, I'm not going back to a doctor who thought seeing me once in the last four weeks before a c-section was perfectly alright. I do not like that I had to complain and demand that they review my chart and make some other option available. The 'office manager' basically told me I did the right thing and I'm my best advocate - but at the end of the day - should I have to advocate to this level for care that I am paying to receive? It doesn't help to find out that if I had not made a big deal out of it they would have been forced to squeeze two visits into one week so that they met the minimum number of prenatal visits to get the full 4k fee. I helped them make more money... what that heck???

Okay, I'm letting it go for now. Two weeks from now the little guy will be here and none of it will matter anymore.

I've only got two more weeks of my Ethics class too. I've got a paper to start working on, two more chapters to read and a presentation to do the day before the c-section. You could say I like living on the edge... or that I can't seem to stop spreading myself too thin... but I've waited years to finish this degree and I'm not getting any younger. I didn't plan on a surgical delivery so there's my blind spot on this one.

This weekend is supposed to be busy but maybe, just maybe I'll have nursery photos when I'm done. There's a 'county clean-up' tomorrow that should give me back a chunk of garage space too. YEA!

Well, scratch that do nothing... got to go rescue the oldest boy with the bum car. urgh.....

Pondered thoughts....

I know what I need.

I know I have every right to have it.

I am not sure why I need to ask for it.

I expect it to go badly though, if I do say anything.

I've had a c-section before... unexpectedly. I remember not being able to sit up for hours and not getting to eat, not being allowed to sleep, no one thinking that it might be uncomfortable to try to heal with a room full of people chatting as if I were not trapped on my back with a catheter and iv tethering me in place. Not to mention the whole nursing my child with seven people watching my every move. Oh yes, good memories.

Do I really have to ask for a few hours to rest, the chance to hold my own son, and a bit of privacy immediately following a rather vulnerable medical procedure?

If I could send out an open letter...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The day is nearing fast and we are so looking forward to Zachary's arrival. As you might imagine though, we are not looking forward to the surgery and recovery to follow. We have some experience to help us prepare for the times ahead. It's perhaps a common surgery and both of us were born by c-section, however it is still major surgery and the recovery is not as quick, nor as easy as natural delivery.

We know this day is eagerly awaited by more than just us and that leads us to this email. We understand that many of you might want to be there 'the minute' he's born and to hold him as soon as possible and get to know our new family member. Honestly we do too! The surgery complicates things.
We have no desire to hurt or offend, however we are asking that there be no visitors during the actual surgery, initial time in recovery, or during the first few hours while we are waiting for the anesthesia effects to pass.
Once Elizabeth is able to sit up a bit and hold Zachary herself, then we welcome your visits to the hospital. If we get an early OR time, we should be up to visitors by lunch or late lunchtime. We won't know for certain until the day and will let everyone know.
We will send out first photos and all the weight, length, finger, toe stats by text message and email as soon as we are moved to a postpartum room. If all goes well we'll try to fit in a few brief phone calls as well. Matthew has made arrangements to call both Grandparents in North Carolina in the hour that they take Zach to the nursery so that he can personally share the news with them.
Providing there are no complications, day two of our hospital stay should allow for longer visits.
One final note... no cameras please.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There would be huge fallout . Hurt feelings swirling all around b/c We don't understand this is a first baby on his side of the family. We should let them see Zach from the first moment and if I'm 4th or 5th in line to hold my own son... what's the big deal? They are only there to help so I can sleep. (I don't sleep in public, in a car, on a plane, in anyone's living room, never could even as a child).
Lastly I should let them take all the photos they want. If I've never seen the photos they took at our wedding, does it matter? If photos were taken of my daughter w/o anyone even telling me the day they were taken, it shouldn't make me uncomfortable. (the first time they ever interacted with her besides the wedding no less).
My physical and emotional needs are something less than everyone else's... again.

40 days, too much left to do

So think Noah and the flood... by the time the animals get to leave the Ark... the mini-munchie will be here.

And of course all that I can think is, I've got so much to do first!!!! I have painting to finish and floors to re-do, I'm not done. Working with a budget I need more time...

Progress?

Well the floor is 2/3 of the way done. It's going to take a trip to the hardware store tomorrow and maybe wally world... but I can still finish it this weekend. I've got to say... laying laminate flooring is WORK. My knees and my fingers hurt. :-( Little guy though is getting a bit crabby with me doing so much. Unfortunately we figured out that I'm the only one who can lay this stuff though. I'm not looking forward to laying it in two more bedrooms and a hall way. I will try to get the hall done before the c-section and let the rest wait till I recover. I think I'll still get the paining done in all three bedrooms. I think even just getting the rooms painted will make a difference.

The flower beds though... will be waiting for spring at this rate. There's just not enough spare time, not enough energy. I tried to enlist help but it's a lot of work that doesn't pay.

My programming homework has been ignored all weekend too and I've got to work on it sometime today/tomorrow. There's only two weeks left till my final.

Tuesday is back to work, Friday back to the doctor... Time is passing faster than I can keep up. Good thing babies really don't care what's done and what isn't. They just want to be fed, kept clean, dry, warm, safe and loved. I know I've got that covered.

Happy weekend!!!!

The grass is finally mowed. (still looks like it's going to rain any minute too). In all honesty it's been put off due to weather for the last um... three, maybe four weeks. It was looking a bit more than rough. It's much better now. The flower beds still need weeding but they can wait, yes?

And the big news... We have a miter saw!!!!!!!! :-) It's shiny new with a nifty dual laser guide and molding guide... but the most important thing - it will cut the laminate like... butter (think Barbara Striesand saying 'butter' or Mike Myers :-D ).

So the grass might sit for weeks on end, but my baby's floor should be done this weekend!!! Can you tell I'm excited?

Nursery/House Update

Walls... I did it. I went back to the store and got a different shade of green... It's mostly painted now and I'm glad I did it. I still need to paint the trim and the doors, do a bit of touch-up and that sort of thing, but overall I'm very happy with it. The border is not really mounted yet - painter's tape is a beautiful thing. It's the general idea though.

Floors... I did get the flooring purchased, at least for the nursery. I still need to get more for the hallway and the other two bedrooms.


I am in market for a saw now. I found one I think will just do the trick for both the flooring and the trim and future projects as well. I have a table saw that I've got my eye on as well, however this is more what I need for this particular project and the table saw would be for the next one. We'll have to see what the budget allows though.

I've got to put the remodel on hold for the day though and focus on programming homework. I'd rather be painting.

Nursery Progress Report

Well... in typical ' me' fashion, I'm working on the nursery. I've pulled up the carpet, the carpet pad, tack strips, and baseboard. I am now sitting for a bit. Just while quite literally the dust settles. :-)

I painted a swatch on one wall of the two colors we are using. I love the blue. I'm on the fence on the green. It's just off from the green of his stroller, car seat, and swing... and not quite the color of his mini crib bedding. I guess you could say - it's right in between the two greens. How goofy is it that I want the color 'just right'? How wrong is it to go back to the store for new paint????

We bought his flooring this morning. My first Home Depot purchase. (I usually shop at Lowe's) but they do not carry this particular brand of flooring. I went in to 'look' and walked out with a lot less money in the bank. The funniest thing happened at the register though. I swiped my debit card, put in my pin and nothing. It kept rolling back to swipe card. Now I just got paid a few days ago and I knew there was money in there so I'm looking at the evil little card in my hand that won't let me buy my baby's new floor and what do you know - it's not my card. I looked over at Matthew, gave him the evil eye and asked "can I have my debit card back now?" He looked at me funny and then looked at the debit card I was holding out for exchange and he starts patting his pockets. Once I had my card, all was good and we were off to Wally World for a few things before heading home.

He's off with my Jeep to run a few more errands. I hope to have everything ready to begin painting before he gets back. Pending breathable air of course.

Photos of my progress to come... if you are patient... and I get something accomplished that I manage to photograph. So no real promises or anything, just babble it seems.

Baby News

We've got a delivery date in October now. It will be a Friday :-) It's one day before the U/S due date and 9 days before the LMP due date... all for the sake of school. I'll take one final the day before he's supposed to be born and a week later I start a web programming class. If he decides to arrive earlier than that - it's entirely up to him and school will need to work around it.

His crib is all assembled for whenever he does arrive. He's got a little one for when he first comes home - that's in our room. His full size crib is at his grandma's for now. Matthew put it together the night before the baby shower and it's just beautiful. His great-grandparents went in together to get it for him. We ordered the matching changing table yesterday. I'd meant to get it local, but the best laid plans and all that.... We do still need to pick out a mattress for the full size crib. I think I've got it covered. :-)

It's probably considered taboo for us to have had a shower for the baby, but there were a million factors in play and I will not feel guilty for not adhering to some etiquette rule, long out dated, and not really the be all or end all of life. I'd never had one before and it was the most wonderful afternoon.

We should begin painting next weekend. I'd have preferred this weekend, but there's a lot going on already. I've about driven Matthew crazy with color swatches and what-if's. I know he'll be glad when it's all done. We will start with the nursery, but continue on from their to get the other two bedrooms on that side of the house.... and hey, while we're at it, we'll paint the hallway and the family bath. Eventually there's colors chosen for the living room and the dining room (currently being used as an office). Then if we can fit it in the budget... replacing the carpet. Finger's crossed and high-hopes. I don't think the little guy's going to notice the floor for a few months any way.

So I'm thinking...

...and that can be dangerous.

We are supposed to choose the baby's birthday next doctor's visit. I'm not sure about this. There's a couple thoughts running through my head.

First - my doctor has gotten on my last pregnant nerve. We had our ultrasound June 12th, waited until July 3rd for a review and we got... 'looks normal'.

Nice... um, details please. Baby measured bigger than expected... knew that from the u/s I saw it on the screen. Doc glossed over and had to be prompted to read it chart again. Would he tell us approximately how big the baby was the day of the u/s? No. I didn't get so much as placenta is high, low, good place... no mention of good amniotic fluid level. Just.... everything looks normal.

Hi... remember me? I'm the patient paying 4k for prenatal care. Could I have some care please? He's not the attentive doctor he was some 12 years ago or even the same as what I saw two years ago.

Then he says, we'll schedule the delivery next visit, but remind him because he might forget. (What, can't write it in the chart?) If I don't remind him will they tell me I can't have the little guy because the doc's schedule is full?

So now, I'm thinking.

And you know, I could pick a date that is 'open on the doc's calendar' and the little guy could choose his own birthday.... like normal babies. hmmmmm?

Week 24 and we are so very blessed.

Goodness it's July already... and we are at 24 weeks. It's basically the threshold for viability among other things. The fears of losing the baby you've never even met are lessened, though not completely gone. Surviving premature delivery is possible from here forward.

I'm set to go back to the doctor today. I'm hoping for a review of the ultrasound from June and a schedule for the next batch of tests. I really wish we had a set schedule for the rest of my doctor visits but who asked me?

The little guy seems to move around a lot these days and he's pretty picky about what I can eat or do without irritating him. He's got a personality already.

Every day I realize just how lucky we are.

First because we can even have a baby, then because he's still inside. Infertility and premature delivery seem to be all too common. I read two blogs daily that remind me... every moment pregnant is precious and I'm not in a rush to be done with it any time soon.

Beyond that... the best friend I've ever had, who's been there for me through thick and thin for the last 24 years, who was matron of honor at my wedding, and the most amazing person I know... has wanted a baby for years. She's been married for 15+ years and still no little person has brightened her life. She is a person who holds more love in her heart than you can imagine. I'm always humbled when I think about what she would do for anyone and especially the people in her life... family and friends are dear and none of us have any doubt about it.

She mentioned I am quite the 'fertile myrtle' the other day and I thought to the three miscarriages I've had between the four munchkins already here and the baby due in just a few months... I suppose I am rather fertile, not always successful at carrying to term, but definitely fertile.

This baby will be the last of course. I don't think I could manage this again even if I wanted to. Just getting to week 24 is stressful and my age being what it is... we know we've been blessed and we have enough...

Those who would say we have too many - please keep it to your self unless you have none and have tried.

If you are or have dealt with infertility - please feel free to rant and rave at me all day. I too think it's not fair and I understand as much as I can... and then rant at me for not being able to understand what you've gone through not even being able to conceive.