Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Pondered thoughts....

I know what I need.

I know I have every right to have it.

I am not sure why I need to ask for it.

I expect it to go badly though, if I do say anything.

I've had a c-section before... unexpectedly. I remember not being able to sit up for hours and not getting to eat, not being allowed to sleep, no one thinking that it might be uncomfortable to try to heal with a room full of people chatting as if I were not trapped on my back with a catheter and iv tethering me in place. Not to mention the whole nursing my child with seven people watching my every move. Oh yes, good memories.

Do I really have to ask for a few hours to rest, the chance to hold my own son, and a bit of privacy immediately following a rather vulnerable medical procedure?

If I could send out an open letter...
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The day is nearing fast and we are so looking forward to Zachary's arrival. As you might imagine though, we are not looking forward to the surgery and recovery to follow. We have some experience to help us prepare for the times ahead. It's perhaps a common surgery and both of us were born by c-section, however it is still major surgery and the recovery is not as quick, nor as easy as natural delivery.

We know this day is eagerly awaited by more than just us and that leads us to this email. We understand that many of you might want to be there 'the minute' he's born and to hold him as soon as possible and get to know our new family member. Honestly we do too! The surgery complicates things.
We have no desire to hurt or offend, however we are asking that there be no visitors during the actual surgery, initial time in recovery, or during the first few hours while we are waiting for the anesthesia effects to pass.
Once Elizabeth is able to sit up a bit and hold Zachary herself, then we welcome your visits to the hospital. If we get an early OR time, we should be up to visitors by lunch or late lunchtime. We won't know for certain until the day and will let everyone know.
We will send out first photos and all the weight, length, finger, toe stats by text message and email as soon as we are moved to a postpartum room. If all goes well we'll try to fit in a few brief phone calls as well. Matthew has made arrangements to call both Grandparents in North Carolina in the hour that they take Zach to the nursery so that he can personally share the news with them.
Providing there are no complications, day two of our hospital stay should allow for longer visits.
One final note... no cameras please.
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There would be huge fallout . Hurt feelings swirling all around b/c We don't understand this is a first baby on his side of the family. We should let them see Zach from the first moment and if I'm 4th or 5th in line to hold my own son... what's the big deal? They are only there to help so I can sleep. (I don't sleep in public, in a car, on a plane, in anyone's living room, never could even as a child).
Lastly I should let them take all the photos they want. If I've never seen the photos they took at our wedding, does it matter? If photos were taken of my daughter w/o anyone even telling me the day they were taken, it shouldn't make me uncomfortable. (the first time they ever interacted with her besides the wedding no less).
My physical and emotional needs are something less than everyone else's... again.



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