All too true. I am old far sooner than I'd like to have found myself being and not near as smart as I wish I was.
Life is choices though. Sometimes they are far too easy and other times oh so difficult. In the end you've made them. Good. Bad. Done.
Sometimes I wonder how I found myself here. Not because I think here is a good place or a bad place. It's just here. Again though, I must wonder... which choices, which turns sent me here. Does it seem to be somewhere I want to stay? If I make the easy choices, where will I be next? Not choosing is not truly an option you know. Not choosing the choices get made for you and you will drift where they take you anyway. Making the difficult choices - those sometimes are best ones I've ever made. Faced fear more times than once and was damned proud of where they took me.
I've looked back at the close of every year. Tried to learn from my mistakes, tried to hold onto the really good stuff and let go of what I cannot change.
Cried my rivers, built my bridges, crossed them and when necessary - burnt them once I was back on dry land. I'm stronger for the efforts each time. I still think that I should get a year off every once in a while - who needs to be this strong anyway?
This year - so much good, some not so good, some things I can't honestly tell you are good or bad because I just don't know yet.
I'm still thinking. I'm still reflecting. I am not quite ready for this year to end. I cannot make time stand still though, so I will take the next few days and sort it all out.
~E
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