Since I've changed blog locations I thought I'd bring over my year end blog from 07.
2007 is drawing to a close... just one more day after this.... and I looked back at my goals on the eve of 2006... the year that was supposed to change everything.... and then the updated version from the eve of 2007....
How far I've come...
Time, space, love, heartache, friends, bridges, and love again....
Time measured in moments as well as years. Days when I had only hope to sustain me. Years spent growing, loving, dreaming.... losing. Moments of fear, joy, freedom, loss, salvation....
Space from the stars at night that I look to for solace - to the bits of time that separate all things. Space to grieve and space to grow. Space for hope to die and hope to grow again.
Heartache... does that need any explaination?
Friends! One I've known since I was a 13 year old, who has stayed in my life through anything and everything... who saved me not once but twice and gives me so much to be thankful for. It's some 20+ years later and the door is always open - sometimes I'm just too terrified to knock. Still it does not matter she is as aways... the best person I'll ever know. Love ya Nolie!
Other friends more recently saved me... two or is it three in particular who in 2006 were pillars I could cling to... when there was heartache and fear, when dispair that threatend to overcome me. They gave so much to learn from. They put me back together - held me together when I could not seem to find hope. They gave me hope and safe haven, then set me on a journey... to cross a bridge. Sean, Steven, Anthony... you guys are the best!
Newer to my heart is yet another best friend... how can I be so lucky to have so many friends that I love so dearly.... Me... the one no one wanted - has so much. In 2007 I found that a chance email from the year before has brought me a lifetime of tomorrows to spend with the writer. You are loved Matthew.
Bridges.... built, burned, crossed....
Cry me a river, build me a bridge, and get over it.
This used to be written on my mirror to remind me that it was okay to cry... but that in the end I had to cross the bridge and find hope again. I definitely cried the river... and the bridge was there for me... I crossed it alone as I should have... I traveled some 2000 miles alone to cross that bridge and find that there was life on the other side.
It gave me strength as 2007 has had some ups and downs... wonderful moments, the best birthday of my life and some crazy moments... a new job that I love and the journey continues.
Through everything I've been loved... in many different ways and even when I didn't think anyone loved me....
I have to stop a moment here because this just ran through my head...
Nobody loves me, everybody hates me. Think I'll go eat some worms.
Whoever came up with that song? It just derailed my train of thought and that's far too easy, you know?
All the same... I'm loved... and when the clock strikes midnight tomorrow... I will know how far I've come... and that the journey hasn't ended...
Someone once told me ....'there will be sunsets over other oceans' sunrises as well I do not doubt.
For all the friends who have helped me get to where I am today - you are loved and I carry you in my heart as I make my way along this journey.
For the one who will travel beside me... it's been a long road here and I'm blessed and honored that you've chosen to venture forth with me.
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