Weekends are for relaxing right...

Not so much when you've got family to bail out of jail (sadly this is true) and things to do!

I ended up with a speeding ticket I didn't need on top of everything. It's all my own fault for getting a ticket. I was following and trying to keep up. I know better and should have just maintained my own pace and got there when I got there. I let fear get the best of me though. I had just plunked down my family's grocery money to bail out my sister and I had to get it back if we were meant to eat for the next two weeks. If I didn't keep up with her... I had no way to get back what I couldn't afford to lose... or so my mind was thinking at the time. I could have been twenty minutes later and saved myself a ticket - and I feel kind of stupid for it.

When we chose to live off a single income for a year -we knew it meant a tighter than tight budget, but it was for baby Z to be able to stay at home at least for his first year. Shelling out our grocery money right now was not an option. Shelling out ticket money isn't ideal either. I've got two months and it's payable. I was sort of saving up for a dream though...

Oh well, In the end I got my grocery money back and left my sister to sort out her problems.

Some things just did not get done this weekend. The grass - did not get mowed. I didn't get the jeep in for an oil change. I didn't get my Sam's trip in. The laundry... we are still washing. The house got picked up but I didn't get the floors mopped/vacuumed/whatever and I'm not likely to find time for them until next weekend.

I did, I hope, finalize our shirt for the JDRF Walk in September. Big YEA if Matthew approves.

Busy few days

Last Thursday was my Capstone presentation for JBU. I'm technically officially done with college. Only took me 20 years... three schools and a whole lot of work. I don't walk until December though, so I'm done, but not done.

My oldest sister came back to Arkansas for a visit over the weekend and I got to see my niece and nephew. They are really great kids. (almost grownup kids, wow) I love it when they visit and it's always sad when they leave.

My dad is being sent to Little Rock for tests and possibly surgery. Seems like once we rule out two cancers we are now dealing with something called Barrett's esophagus and displaysia ( so we have a third cancer risk now) May be simple laser treatment, maybe more in-depth, who knows. So I pray that the unknown is manageable either way.

Had Baby Z's 9 month check up Monday. He's 22.5 pounds of bounding energy and 28 inches tall! He cut his first two teeth finally on Thursday too. I would declare him an official nibbler too. He seems fascinated by the new pearly whites.

I'm contemplating a job change. Don't know if I'll even get an interview, but I put my name in for it anyway. It would be project management rather than technical like I do now. The bonus would be getting working with a group that I used to work with and having a mac again. I'm hopeful anyway. Girl can dream, can't she?

Life is otherwise busy with fund-raising for the NWA JDRF walk in September. I'd love to raise a $1000 but I set my goal at 250 because I just don't know if I can get more. I'm working on the Corporate team as well as our family team so maybe it balances out. Wal-Mart has sponsored the walk for years, but we've not had a corporate wide team.

And that's my busy life... full, blessed, dramatic, simple, beautiful, and a gift.

sleep would be lovely...

Life just doesn't always work out that way. Choices made, realities accepted.. another time, another day... one day maybe... maybe... please?

Until then, make peace, wake up early and just don't think about when you get no sleep but when you must awaken and they continue to sleep - it's okay... okay?

Two days and other babble

In two days I will present my not yet finalized capstone project and bid a sad farewell to the John Brown University BIS program. I'm not ready for this to end. I've not even done as well as I'd hoped. I've given it my best with everything else going on in my life.

I want to get my masters next but when to do it... so I'll just have to hold onto that wish for a while.

It was a hard decision just to go back to school this time. I am torn between my family that I love more than anything and the desire to learn in a formal setting. My kids need me to be here. I have to work of course so we have a home and the things we need day to day. I have to have my kids. That sounds a bit odd I suppose, but being their mom is as much a need as a responsibility. I never wanted to live through them. I just want to be there as they grow and learn and become who they are meant to be.

I not your typical parent by the way. I've got all these rules like a real mom... but then I think life is a choose your own adventure thing - so I want my kids to do just that. Some people tell me it's not enough structure, and others just don't get it. If they want to do silly things - and it won't hurt anyone - I say do it! My kids would tell you I'm tough anyway - so maybe there's balance.

I'm naturally feeling a bit lost these days. A chapter is closing and I'm not sure where I'm headed.

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Speaking of growing munchkins...

Baby Zach is growing so much right now. Two weeks ago he started trying to pull himself up and now he crawls all over the living room pulling himself up on the sofa, then down and crawl to the chair or the coffee table... round and round. It's amazing how much energy he has.


This is what makes life a joy. The smallest skill learned is HUGE. He's afraid of nothing, so open and it takes so little to make him laugh.

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The rest of life... going is a bit hard right now... but maybe that's my own fault... and a different blog.