So I'm thinking...

...and that can be dangerous.

We are supposed to choose the baby's birthday next doctor's visit. I'm not sure about this. There's a couple thoughts running through my head.

First - my doctor has gotten on my last pregnant nerve. We had our ultrasound June 12th, waited until July 3rd for a review and we got... 'looks normal'.

Nice... um, details please. Baby measured bigger than expected... knew that from the u/s I saw it on the screen. Doc glossed over and had to be prompted to read it chart again. Would he tell us approximately how big the baby was the day of the u/s? No. I didn't get so much as placenta is high, low, good place... no mention of good amniotic fluid level. Just.... everything looks normal.

Hi... remember me? I'm the patient paying 4k for prenatal care. Could I have some care please? He's not the attentive doctor he was some 12 years ago or even the same as what I saw two years ago.

Then he says, we'll schedule the delivery next visit, but remind him because he might forget. (What, can't write it in the chart?) If I don't remind him will they tell me I can't have the little guy because the doc's schedule is full?

So now, I'm thinking.

And you know, I could pick a date that is 'open on the doc's calendar' and the little guy could choose his own birthday.... like normal babies. hmmmmm?

Week 24 and we are so very blessed.

Goodness it's July already... and we are at 24 weeks. It's basically the threshold for viability among other things. The fears of losing the baby you've never even met are lessened, though not completely gone. Surviving premature delivery is possible from here forward.

I'm set to go back to the doctor today. I'm hoping for a review of the ultrasound from June and a schedule for the next batch of tests. I really wish we had a set schedule for the rest of my doctor visits but who asked me?

The little guy seems to move around a lot these days and he's pretty picky about what I can eat or do without irritating him. He's got a personality already.

Every day I realize just how lucky we are.

First because we can even have a baby, then because he's still inside. Infertility and premature delivery seem to be all too common. I read two blogs daily that remind me... every moment pregnant is precious and I'm not in a rush to be done with it any time soon.

Beyond that... the best friend I've ever had, who's been there for me through thick and thin for the last 24 years, who was matron of honor at my wedding, and the most amazing person I know... has wanted a baby for years. She's been married for 15+ years and still no little person has brightened her life. She is a person who holds more love in her heart than you can imagine. I'm always humbled when I think about what she would do for anyone and especially the people in her life... family and friends are dear and none of us have any doubt about it.

She mentioned I am quite the 'fertile myrtle' the other day and I thought to the three miscarriages I've had between the four munchkins already here and the baby due in just a few months... I suppose I am rather fertile, not always successful at carrying to term, but definitely fertile.

This baby will be the last of course. I don't think I could manage this again even if I wanted to. Just getting to week 24 is stressful and my age being what it is... we know we've been blessed and we have enough...

Those who would say we have too many - please keep it to your self unless you have none and have tried.

If you are or have dealt with infertility - please feel free to rant and rave at me all day. I too think it's not fair and I understand as much as I can... and then rant at me for not being able to understand what you've gone through not even being able to conceive.