The way I see it...

I'm an optimistic, peace-making, keep trying, compromising, okay kind of person.

I look for the best in people and when I just don't understand, I think... there must be something so I should try harder to understand. Sure there's tons of people not worth my efforts, but to let one slip by that is worth that benefit of doubt would be wrong for me.

People are fairly simple yet terribly complex. At least I think they are... or maybe just I am... who knows.

Anyway. I want the world to be a nicer place, eh? And you know what they say? If you want the world to be a nicer place... make it a nicer place and you will live the nicer place you wanted. Sounds good, is darned hard and yet... Here I am. Still trying to make it a nicer place. Starting of course with good old me. May not be able to change the world... but can always change your perspective, outlook, reactions, what you bring to the world's table. When you're done there, you've changed a little tiny bit of the world and if you are lucky, that change is for the better.

I'd like to think what I bring is a bit of laughter, a lot of love, and everything I've got.

It seems like it's never enough, but it's all I've got, it's just going to have to do.

I do not understand bitterness as it were... Will it make the world a better place? (nope) Will it make you happy? (not likely) Will it ease the hurt you may be feeling. (I don't think so) So then what will it get you? If what it gets you is not what you want... pour that energy into something you do want... like joy or laughter or even simple peace.

I live with bitterness though - not my own - and it steals my joy. I want to happy regardless... but when you watch someone you love dearly - make themselves miserable because of bitterness and you are caught in their angst.... joy just doesn't have that great of a chance to survive.

Being caught in the cross-hairs of someones self inflicted misery is not something I wish on anyone. It hurts and you're basically powerless. Unless of course you are that uber strong person who says - okay you want to be miserable? then do it alone... I'm outta here. (some would say strong, others would say cold as ice or selfish, I dunno... I think somewhere in between) It's just not in me though... I just keep trying for that better place thing and wonder ... will I always fail or is there hope. There's got to be hope though... so I soldier on.

It's looking though like it's taking a path I don't want to travel. I've seen this movie you could say. It doesn't end well.

The bitterness is giving way to selfishness, meanness, and double standards.

and I don't have a clue what to do from here.